Monthly Post

I’d certainly like to find myself posting more often than that, but recently the inspiration to post is rarely present.

Actually, there is a remarkable disparity in my inspirations since this new year began.  Last semester I was constantly challenged by class and found myself in the grip of cross-pollination and inspiration.  Meanwhile, I had little-to-no social life – though, considering the course load this was hardly a surprise.  Since the new year I find my most fruitful discussions and inspirational interactions coming outside the classroom.  I’m consistently underwhelmed…and I wonder if this is in part due to the fact that this is my last semester.

Am I simply ready for the transition that lies ahead?  If that is the case it seems odd, since this is not a clear transition into a concrete event or place.  Perhaps I am dreading the transition, for the same reason.  I’ve been a student in some capacity forever – and for the first time I will be at an impasse for a duration of time over which I have no control.  When I took time off from college it was simply because I wanted to and when I was ready I returned.  This time, however, I’m waiting for applications and admissions…biding my time until the next stage of my education can begin.

In the off period I can continue my education only if I can afford it without assistance from the state, etc.  I need to find a full-time job and my current employment is falling far short of my expectations – not at all promising as a way to support myself between these more desirable vocations.

Perhaps, as usual, when I am not challenged I become disinterested.  The sparks are few and far-between.  Each week scattered with fruitful passages and readings that entertain and produce the kind of mental states I desire.  I suppose I will have to wait until the first round of papers and exams for the sort of challenge I crave.

What the hell am I going to do without classes and grades for a year!?  Is there going to be a full-time job that stimulates enough of my brain to keep me interested?  Am I going to experience brain atrophy until grad-school – after which the transition will be more extreme?

I don’t suppose that I regret the decision to take time off between…perhaps I am just realizing the fullness of the decision I made.  I hope to maintain professional contacts and network…and maybe, without the constraints of classes, I will be able to attend conferences and even take a vacation.

I’ve been enjoying my exploits in the realm of film theory, criticism and viewing.  I think I’ll be attending the quintuple feature at the AMC that is coming up: No Country for Old Men, Juno, Atonement, Michael Clayton and There Will Be Blood, i.e., the five nominees for Best Picture.  I despise the Oscars, but whatever.  30 dollars to see those five films in one day seems a worthy investment.

Kevin Costner has the same inflections, accent, etc. in every single film he is in.  What a lame actor.  Seriously.  I heard Mr. Brooks playing downstairs and thought it was The Untouchables for a second…exactly the same.

I was thinking about what Philosophy of Film actually is…and mostly all I could come up with was film theory.  I need to look into the notion a bit more as I am sure it is richer than this.  Also, much of the film theory I have encountered is obviously not philosophical, but much of the philosophy of film I have encountered is theoretical.  That is intended to convey my confusion, not some vacuous platitude.

Sometimes when I’m reading linguistics or literary theory it has a distinctly philosophical ring to it.  Maybe this is just my own predisposition being read into everything I get my hands on.  This hardly seems true though, I could not make anything out of Chris Hedges’ War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning – and I really, really tried.

This is what happens when you only post once a month.

~Q