So, graduated.  It seems a bit overrated.  I’m still working in the same place, still underpaid, still looking into the future for any kind of fulfillment.  The graduate school clock is ticking.

I’ve been making some progress with the GRE preparation – hopefully this will pay off with a score increase that I can live with.  After that I’ll get back to my writing sample and likely start the application process for many of the schools I am interested in.  Must remember to check the application deadlines for international schools.  I think that the election outcome in November will make a significant difference on my top choices.

I’ve seen The Dark Knight four times, once on IMax.  It’s really a terrific piece of film, superhero action or otherwise.

My main squeeze is on a cruise right now – this is unpleasant.

Is it Fall yet?

~Q

I’d certainly like to find myself posting more often than that, but recently the inspiration to post is rarely present.

Actually, there is a remarkable disparity in my inspirations since this new year began.  Last semester I was constantly challenged by class and found myself in the grip of cross-pollination and inspiration.  Meanwhile, I had little-to-no social life – though, considering the course load this was hardly a surprise.  Since the new year I find my most fruitful discussions and inspirational interactions coming outside the classroom.  I’m consistently underwhelmed…and I wonder if this is in part due to the fact that this is my last semester.

Am I simply ready for the transition that lies ahead?  If that is the case it seems odd, since this is not a clear transition into a concrete event or place.  Perhaps I am dreading the transition, for the same reason.  I’ve been a student in some capacity forever – and for the first time I will be at an impasse for a duration of time over which I have no control.  When I took time off from college it was simply because I wanted to and when I was ready I returned.  This time, however, I’m waiting for applications and admissions…biding my time until the next stage of my education can begin.

In the off period I can continue my education only if I can afford it without assistance from the state, etc.  I need to find a full-time job and my current employment is falling far short of my expectations – not at all promising as a way to support myself between these more desirable vocations.

Perhaps, as usual, when I am not challenged I become disinterested.  The sparks are few and far-between.  Each week scattered with fruitful passages and readings that entertain and produce the kind of mental states I desire.  I suppose I will have to wait until the first round of papers and exams for the sort of challenge I crave.

What the hell am I going to do without classes and grades for a year!?  Is there going to be a full-time job that stimulates enough of my brain to keep me interested?  Am I going to experience brain atrophy until grad-school – after which the transition will be more extreme?

I don’t suppose that I regret the decision to take time off between…perhaps I am just realizing the fullness of the decision I made.  I hope to maintain professional contacts and network…and maybe, without the constraints of classes, I will be able to attend conferences and even take a vacation.

I’ve been enjoying my exploits in the realm of film theory, criticism and viewing.  I think I’ll be attending the quintuple feature at the AMC that is coming up: No Country for Old Men, Juno, Atonement, Michael Clayton and There Will Be Blood, i.e., the five nominees for Best Picture.  I despise the Oscars, but whatever.  30 dollars to see those five films in one day seems a worthy investment.

Kevin Costner has the same inflections, accent, etc. in every single film he is in.  What a lame actor.  Seriously.  I heard Mr. Brooks playing downstairs and thought it was The Untouchables for a second…exactly the same.

I was thinking about what Philosophy of Film actually is…and mostly all I could come up with was film theory.  I need to look into the notion a bit more as I am sure it is richer than this.  Also, much of the film theory I have encountered is obviously not philosophical, but much of the philosophy of film I have encountered is theoretical.  That is intended to convey my confusion, not some vacuous platitude.

Sometimes when I’m reading linguistics or literary theory it has a distinctly philosophical ring to it.  Maybe this is just my own predisposition being read into everything I get my hands on.  This hardly seems true though, I could not make anything out of Chris Hedges’ War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning – and I really, really tried.

This is what happens when you only post once a month.

~Q

So, 2008 has started and so far it’s been nothing short of amazing.  New beginnings that are bringing a change to everything in my reality.

I’m having a hard time containing my excitement.

The new semester starts so soon.  There is so much to be happy about at the moment.

I’ve never been much for resolutions.  I generally just decide on a goal whenever it’s time for deciding.  I guess if anything lined up fortuitously with the New Year it would be a resolution to keep my wits about me as I move into to a few new experiences.

Something tells me that reminding myself to be cautious in this situation is about as useful as asking gravity to take a break for a while.  But that’s just fine.

~Q

That’s the Great Penguin Adventure…in case you were wondering.

It has been a most enjoyable evening and that bodes well for the holiday season which officially kicks off on Christmas Eve around my house.  Tomorrow will be a relaxing and quiet day, then I guess it’s back to the grind of every day life.

The New Year is just around the corner.  This year is going to start with a variety of goals being realized and some new goals being made.  There also seems to be something intriguing emerging from behind a beautiful smile – only the future knows!

Merry Christmas to anyone who chances upon this and may you have a safe and enjoyable New Year as well!

~Q

I always find it amusing to think about the timely arrival of a break or a weekend, since, after all, they never fail to arrive when they do.  Thank goodness it’s Winter Break though!

I’ve been in a great mood lately.  Aside from a migraine today at work things have been great.

So far this break it’s been movie-mania!!

I Am Legend was great, No Country for Old Men was likewise great (I love those Cohen brothers) and I got to introduce some friends to My Neighbor Totoro!  Now I think I’m going to go watch Order of the Phoenix and keep my fingers crossed for the Blade Runner box set being under the tree in a few days!

~Q

The last few days have been really great. It could actually be a combination of things and, in all likelihood, that’s true. However, the biggest difference has to be not having six classes worth of homework and deadlines to think about every night.

Next semester is going to be such a great shift. I found this semester almost too challenging and though I enjoyed being full time the stress was hard on me. Next semester I get to keep the enjoyment of being full time, but ditch the stress associated with having too much to do (literally).

It’s been a great few days – lots of experience worth having.

Thinking of Dante:

Love and the noble heart are but one thing,
Even as the wise man tells us in his rhyme,
The one without the other venturing
As well as reason from a reasoning mind.
Nature, disposed to love, creates Love king,
Making the heart a dwelling-place for him,
Wherein he lies quiescent, slumbering
Sometimes a little, now a longer time.
Then beauty in a virtuous woman’s face
Pleases the eyes, striking the heart so deep
A yearning for the pleasant thing may rise.
Sometimes so long it lingers in that place
Love’s spirit is awakened from his sleep.
By a worthy man a woman’s moved likewise.

XX – La Vita Nuova

I’d rather lose sleep thinking of her smile than stress,

~Q

I think it is safe to say that I have come to the end of this semester.  I have one assignment to turn in tomorrow and I finally feel like I have completed it (for now).  I tend to agree with a number of my professors that a paper is never finished…finished seems impossible.  This assignment is just provisionally complete.  Complete enough, I think, to represent me well for the class.  Who knows what the future holds?

I wish I were a bit better at handling social situations.  There really should be a handbook for introverts and others who just don’t quite get it.

This winter break should be full of fun, fun, fun.  I have plans to go mountain biking and play racket-ball.  I’m always amused that some sports are identified by the type of equipment used in them, while others don’t seem to make sense in that way, e.g., football vs. football-ball.

So, yeah.  I think I have a little post work euphoria.  Maybe not just a little.  There were points during this semester where I didn’t think I was going to emerge sane.  I hope I never get it in my head again to take six classes.  In the end, though, I was successful in all my classes – or, at least, I feel like I was – we’ll see what the professors say.

It’s hard to really advocate stoicism when you are a hopeless romantic.

~Q

Suddenly, more comedic distraction.  Possibly one of the funniest things I’ve seen in months: Power Thirst 2!

~Q

P.S. Sorry in advance.

So, before the truly random ensues, here is brief attempt to convey the last month or so:

No Quorn roasts were available this year, so my Thanksgiving was all sides – not that this is a bad thing, since I love mashed potatoes and cranberry jelly (maybe simultaneously). The Ethics Bowl experience was a mixed bag. Perhaps the best thing is simply say that I really had a great time, strengthened some friendships and would not have traded the experience for the time. I have not managed stress very well, started having migraines again almost weekly. Grad-school has pretty much been placed on the back-burner for now and until the semester ends.

I think that about brings us to this evening. I’m writing my term paper for Aristotle’s Metaphysics. In the last week or so a few things have really jumped out at me, made me laugh, think or just pause absentmindedly. Here are at least a few of them:

In Jaques Derrida’s The Gift of Death he mentions this simple statement of Abraham, “Here I am” (e.g., 71). This calls to mind something about the Bible in general: the power of a word or a few words. I’m no biblical scholar, nor am I a Derridian, so, for all I know, the real power of this is lost on me. Nonetheless, it seems noteworthy.

Johnny Cash’s “(Ghost) Riders in the Sky” – I don’t even know if I understand why I like this stuff, but for some reason cowboy songs are really cool.

Nick Drake, though that’s nothing new. He and Bob Dylan are probably my two favorite songwriters ever.

Oddly enough, another biblical reference. Though this one is admittedly less serious. Over at cracked.com David Wong is up to his old antics with a post: The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses. I don’t really get much out of the post except for this assessment of Samson: “[Samson] could basically call down the powers of the Lord to turn himself into a hurricane of ass kicking.” Amusing. Also, this makes me think of the song, “Hallelujah,” not just Leonard Cohen, but also Jeff Buckley.

And, finally, perhaps the most stirring of these diversions (after all I am supposed to be writing a term paper) is a little section from the first of Rilke’s Duino Elegies:

“Isn’t it time that we free ourselves loving
from whom we are loving and, trembling, survive it:
as the arrow survives the string, so that gathered in leaping
it is more than itself. For abiding is nowhere.” (50-3)

I prefer to just leave that as is and not offer commentary.

At any rate, I should get back to my term paper. Sometimes I feel like I’m writing letters to an anonymous pen-pal. Sometimes it’s just brain spill. Either way is ok by me.

~Q

The trip to Gainesville was really enjoyable.  I think there is a really interesting dynamic between our team members.  There is just enough difference in background and philosophical views to keep things lively and fun.  We really came together during our scrimmage with UF.  I’m confident that we have the ability to do very well in the real competition.  One thing is for sure: everyone seemed more excited and energetic about the competition after we were exposed to the format and a practice run.

The semester is officially in full swing (read: first major assignment was returned today).  The last two or three weeks have been really disorganized and I hadn’t felt like I had everything together until yesterday.  It is as clear as ever that time stands still for no one.

A number of very interesting philosophical issues have peaked in terms of my out-of-school interest.  All of these extracurricular interests pertain to metaphysics and epistemology (even I know when a hint is worth noting).  As my appointment for the GRE approaches it is somewhat reassuring to find my interests more unified than they have previously been.  At some point in the last few weeks, as unclear as they may have been, the immediacy of the application process has become crystalized in my mind.

A number of other interesting thoughts are present at the moment, but, as usual, there is much to be done.

~Q